What Feeds My Soul/Spirit

As I write this I have the back door open to keep an eye on my boy who is digging in the dirt while the next door neighbors play basketball.  It is a beautiful, sunny day with temperatures in the mid 60s.  If only it would stay this way.

Awhile back I sat in church and in my little journal wrote a list of all the things that feed my soul.  I keep this journal with me almost all the time to jot down everything from a to do list to quotes to words that strike me in some way.

Last week I set aside some time while in my office at work to take my feeds-my-soul-list and find miniatures and place them in my sand tray.  (Incidentally, this sand tray was a gift from a former student who had remembered that many semesters before I had mentioned in a play therapy class how much I was coveting Eliana Gil's sandtray in her family play therapy video.  So very grateful for this gift.)  The ironic thing about this activity is I had just come from teaching about socioemotional development in infants.  It was another beautiful day but the air conditioning wasn't working right in the classroom.  I was nauseous.  Perhaps I should have just gone home, but I was determined to do this tray.

What Feeds My Soul/Spirit

All things creative:

music, drama, books, visual art

young children for so very many reasons

being in nature:

the trees, flowers, and water

sitting by a roaring fire,

looking up at the sky,

walking along a bridge,

listening to a water fountain

the beach:

the sun, the sand, the waves

finding shells

making sand castles

the grace, the freedom, the nurturing of birds and butterflies

fresh, local, organic food

sipping tea with a friend while having a heart-to-heart talk

I need to find a little table for those tea cups

sitting.

be still.

meditating.

my meditative like figure just seemed too big
so Gumby came to the rescue

The other two items in the tray were a bottlecap that said "play" and a knobby, colorful ball.

What do these things all have in common?

Taking the time to be quiet

to listen

to reflect

to be grateful

to remember what is really important.

To know we are all connected.

Namaste!

What I Believe with a Capital B

taken with my iPhone

Play, creativity, and self-expression in all its forms:

poetry, prose, storytelling, visual arts, drama, music, photography, dance, humor, and physical touch are the antidote to all the ills of the world.

Why?
They make us feel alive.  We are valuable.
They remind us there is beauty and goodness in this life.

It takes courage to play, be creative, and express oneself as an adult. 
We might be criticized.
We might be rejected.

But it's still very important indeed.

my daughter's doodle

My Stream of Consciousness (Sorta) in Honor of My Birthday*

*These are my Morning Pages for today, January 5, 2012.  And I share them with you.  I say "sorta" in the title because they aren't entirely stream of consciousness.  I have gone back and edited them in a few places.  For more information about the practice of Morning Pages click here and here.

Dear Blog,

I know I have neglected you for many reasons some of which I may get into in this blogpost.  Today is my birthday.  When I was much, much younger I hated that my birthday fell on this day.  Right after Christmas, actually the 12^th of day of Christmas.  People tended to forget or would give me a combo Christmas/bday present.  Whether we’re willing to admit it or not, it feels good when we’re remembered, when others think of us.  Someone cares for me.  Someone thinks I make a positive impact on their life.  (Thank you Stephanie for letting me know that I do!)  In the past, and still sometimes even today, good ole sensitive me has taken it personally when someone forgets.  My gremlins and insecurities start showing up.  And it’s probably just that people truly are busy or that remembering birthdays just wasn’t such a big deal to them growing up.  (In fact, last October and November were so crazy busy for me that I didn’t send out birthday cards or even acknowledge certain people on Facebook on their special day.  And I hated not doing it.  The first of each year I write out everyone’s birthdays on my new calendar.  It’s been a New Year’s ritual for me for quite some time.  So I at least saw their names and sent them positive energy out into the world.)

Darn, I didn’t want to go off on a diatribe about my birthday.  The point is that now I kinda like having a first week of January birthday.  While others are feeling the blues after the holidays, I have something to look forward to.  At the beginning of the new year and end of the old year I am reflective.  My birthday makes me really reflective.  And you may know that I’m already a very reflective type so I’m REALLY reflective today.  Not to mention that 2011 was an extremely difficult year for me.  A big kick-in-the-ass kind of year.  I had a few big highs but some even bigger lows.  The last half of the year I found myself in survival mode.  Even though I know that’s gonna happen at different times of my life, I. Just. Don’t. Like. It.  Not one bit.

So that’s one reason for neglecting the blog—survival mode on top of the busy holidays.  Most people love the holidays.  For me they are a lot of work.  I much prefer Easter.  But that’s another story.  So in my reflecting I’ve been thinking about this blog.  And one big thing comes up, the thing we all wrestle with—FEAR!  Fear of what others will think:  Bloggers are just self-absorbed and selfish.  Don’t they have better things to do with their time?  (I used to think these things about bloggers until I started reading some really good blogs.  And I’m so very grateful that they take the time to blog.)  Why isn’t she doing her real work (i.e., stuff for the College)?  And my own insecurities about myself:  Why would anyone be interested in what I have to say? 

And there’s the biggie that I know many, many bloggers wrestle with: how much of myself do I put out there?  What will people think?  Will I piss someone off?  Will I lose my day job if I say what I really think?  Will I be rejected?  What if no one (or very few) actually read what I have to say?  What would that mean?

Meanwhile, I’m aware of how we put everyday people (doctors, firefighters, mental health professionals, clergy, college professors, etc., really anyone who is in a helping profession) up on pedestals.  Not to mention what we do to our cultural and local celebrities.  I’ve also noticed within the creative community that I follow on-line how certain bloggers can be put on pedestals, too.  I know I do it.  I’ve got a few girl crushes.  Add the fact that I live in a small town, the “everybody knows your name” kinda town.  (Yet, there’s A LOT of good things about living in one.)  I really don’t want to do or say anything with this blog that would prevent me from helping others or hurt those I love.  Damn!

But then I feel I have SO. Much. I. Want. To. Say.  I'm not totally for sure why.  Perhaps it’s because I was so shy, quiet, introverted, and insecure for so many years.  So many years of keeping my mouth shut while thoughts swirled around in my head.  Perhaps it’s a curse (or blessing) of being a creative individual.  I have so many interests.  So much I want to put out there.  So much I want to express.

Then there’s the inspiration piece.  So many bloggers have inspired me.  It feels good to inspire others, to be liked.  Even if you’re not a blogger yourself, if you’re on Facebook and you get a lot of “likes” to something you post and it makes you feel good, you may have experienced what I mean.   I know a behaviorist would just call this intermittent reinforcement.  But whatever, I’m not a behaviorist.  I’m not into rats.  The principles of behaviorism can be helpful, but I am more of a humanist for sure!

One more reason I wish to blog or Facebook or tweet.  It’s about connections.  Sometimes I miss the depth and richness of the connections I once had.  Like when I was in college.  And then there’s things like grad school, career, work, marriage, and kids (you know—responsibilities) and you start to lose a part of yourself.  Plus I’ve moved far away from my college friends and don’t get to see them nearly enough. 

One thing I’ve been doing over the last year is making lots of new connections on-line.  And yet, I don’t care what anyone says about on-line anything, It. Just. Isn’t. The Same. as face-to-face, human interaction.  Yes, I know on-line is cool and helpful—you can connect with ppl all over the world and I've learned so much from others.  People may open up more on-line. Etc. But even if I can see your face on the web, I can’t truly feel the emotion.  I can’t experience physical touch or perhaps, even the energy of our connection.

Half my life ago I turned 21.  Remember when you couldn’t wait to turn 21?  A bit serendipitous for me today.

Okay, this blogpost is wearing me out.  I’m taking myself and life too seriously.  Time to go take my beautiful, creative, imperfect self out to play a little on my birthday.  :)

Hope you are making meaningful connections in your part of the world.  And yes, playing together is a great way to do it.  See, I had to add play in there!  And hug those closest to you.

P.S. I'm trying to be brave with this post and not experience what Brene Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover."

P.S.S. How could I forget this big high from last year?

Picture the Holidays -- Days 6 and 7

Theme for Day 6 was Every Little Thing.

On a table in my office at work are these two Hallmark ornaments.  They are miniature versions of the classic Fisher-Price toys that I remember playing with as a child.  The clock has a knob on the back that can actually turn so one can hear the familiar tune.  The school has a tiny bell at the top that one can ring.  Cute little reminders of play.

Theme for Day 7 was Express Yourself. 

Many who are doing Picture the Holidays right along with me have chosen to do a self-portrait for this prompt, but I just wasn't feeling up to it.  So I got the idea for this photo yesterday when this sweet book of poetry arrived in the mail.  The poems were written by Tara Sophia Mohr.  (You may recall that I joined in her Girl Effect blogging campaign last October with these two posts.)

Also, in the photo above is this original painting seen here by Danielle Daniel, of Her Painted Word.  She is called Hazel--she write one poem a day.  For now she sits right by my bedside as a reminder to not forget to express myself through writing.

(All photos taken with my iPhone and uploaded to Instagram.)

Picture the Holidays

I am participating in Picture the Holidays, a class by Tracey Clark through Paper Coterie.  Tracey is the founder of Shutter Sisters.  (Incidentally, I was part of Tracey's I am Enough collaborative through this post.)

I am loving this class creed.  I loving the chance to play and exercise my creativity.  I will try to post my pictures to the daily prompts as much as I can, but I don't want to do anything to add to my stress level especially until the semester is over on Dec. 12 when grades are due!

Woo hoo! I'm on Creative Living with Jamie

I'm so flattered that little ole me was asked to be on Jamie Ridler's Creative Living with Jamie podcast which airs today.  She actually asked me via a message on twitter (isn't that cool?!) that I received on the last day of the APT conference when I was on a play therapy high.  The actual interview occurred a few weeks ago.  I've been a bit nervous to see how it turned out as honestly I wasn't still on my high.  In fact, I was deep in the busiest time of the semester.  So apropos since my main message in the interview is, of course, the importance of play in our lives.

I've enjoyed listening to this podcast for well over a year now every Tuesday morning on my way to work.  One of my favorite parts is the very beginning when Jamie shares a bit of inspiration.  Another favorite part is when she asks the interviewee, "how do you invite your creativity out to play?"  She's had on some of my favorite creative people.  I can't believe I'm in this group. 

So I am Creative.  I am a Creative!

Please take a listen and let me know what you think!

And a special welcome to any Jamie Ridler listeners!

Recipe for a Little Saturday Fun

Recipe for a little fun:

Take small and large marshmellows and uncooked spaghetti.

Grab your friends and family or just yourself.

Set the timer for 15 minutes.

Build the tallest tower you can out of the ingredients.

The boy pretended he was roasting marshmellows.

The girl squished hers together.

After seeing a "blogging moment," the mom spent a few minutes and came up with this:

And the winner was the dad who found this activity in the first place and who had already done it

with one of his college classes at Lindsey Wilson the day before

and tried to recreate what the winning team did in his class.

Therefore, he cheated. :)

Out of the Box (More Musings on a Play Therapy Conference)

One of my favorite children's books about creativity is called Not a Box by Antoinette Portis.  This hard-cover book feels like a cardboard box.  It is a reminder of how easily children can take a simple box and turn it into a variety of objects through their play.  I'm sure that many of us have memories of taking old, large appliance boxes or the boxes our toys came in on Christmas morning and turning them into a house, a puppet theater, or a car.

This simple message was also clear to me at the APT play therapy conference last month.  Charlie Schaefer, Linda Homeyer, and Sueann Kenney-Noziska were the keynote speakers on "Directive or Nondirective: Is That Really the Question?"  In the field of play therapy we tend to put theories, techniques, and one another in boxes: nondirective or directive.  It's something we as human being naturally do.  Our brains are bombarded with so must information that we judge the information and categorize it as a way to get a handle on it and make sense of it given our own beliefs and experiences.  Are you Democrat or Republican?  Conservative or Liberal?  Gay or straight?  But there are many downsides to putting people and ideas in boxes.

I resist being categorized because I don't like to judged.  When I'm judged I might be judged negatively or found lacking in some way.  When you put me in a box you might make assumptions about me that aren't true based on your prior experiences of said box.  These misassumptions then prevent us from truly connecting on an authentic level where we value one another as human beings and can learn from each other's varied backgrounds.

This year's APT conference had a different vibe for me.  I'm not sure if it's because it seemed to be smaller and more intimate compared to past years.  Or was it the physical arrangement of having to walk through the bar and gathering area of the hotel in order to get to the workshops at the conference center across the street?  I found myself sitting and talking and laughing and networking with a wide variety of people.  Friends old and new.  I learned new things about other play therapists that changed how I view them.  I may not practice play therapy in the same way that they do and that is okay.  Who am I to say that I have THE one right way to believe?  And if I take the time to listen to their story and have an open-mind, how can I argue with their experiences?

When one is starting out as a play therapist or in any field, it helps to have "boxes" and categories to aid in understanding and grasping of a lot of information.  That is a good thing.  Our "boxes" provide a rationale for why we do what we do.  Yet, after awhile it can be helpful to have an open-mind, broaden our horizons and get out of the box.  For me, this is how I continue to grow as a play therapist and as a human being.  In fact, it's a big part of what creativity is all about.

Mining for Play Therapy Gold (the pics version)

What have I been doing lately?

Mining for play therapy gold in Sacramento

theme for 2011 APT conference
(iphone photo by me)

at the 2011 APT conference

photo by ?

I presented on Creativity for Play Therapists.

that's me standing
(iphone photo by Tammi Van Hollander)

I went to several meetings.

Conference Program Committee with Tami Langen & Kathy Lebby
(surprise photo by Mistie Barnes)

I went to play therapy trainings including those by Terry Kottman, Jeff Ashby, David Crenshaw, Athena Drewes, Eric Green, LeAnne Steen, and Hilda Glazer.

Eric Green & David Crenshaw
(photo by ?)

Most of all, I networked, ate, and drank with play therapy friends, new and old.

me with Angela Cavett & Liana Lowenstein
(photo by ?)

MY FAVORITE PHOTO FROM THE CONFERENCE
me, Cherie Spehar, Lori Myers, Anne Stewart, David,
Angela, Ana Tillman, Tammi Van Hollander
with the APT dude
(taken by ?)

David Crenshaw started a private play therapy group on Facebook.

We met for a big toast (thank you Liana).  I love that he is laughing in this pic.

Stay tuned.  I plan to share my reflections on the conference in an upcoming post.

This is Fun!

I just saw this posted on twitter by Jennifer Lee, author of The Right Brain Business Plan.

Go to http://www.drawastickman.com/.

Be prepared to have a little fun.  Just use your mouse to draw what it tells you and watch what happens!

Playing in the Sand

How fun it is to play in the sand!

(Might help explain why sand play therapy is so popular.)

At any age..

sand sculptures clockwise from top left:
by Miles, Meredith, Jodi, Jeff

The first day we were there Meredith wanted to be buried.

Wonder why kids like to do this so much?

For me, I just love how it feels on my feet while I read a good book.

Doesn't the photo above make the sand look like cookie dough?

Oh yum!

Sometimes the Best Play is the Simplest

Sometimes the best play is the simplest.

A loaf of old bread.  A warm summer day.

A park.  Lots of geese.

And my boy.

Wonder what this one is thinking?

Playful Moments



a leather bracelet I made in VBS

Summer is full of playful moments...

Last weekend was SPC Day at the college, a day for our students and their families at various community campus sites to have an opportunity to visit the main campus.  Many drive several hours to attend.  Meredith had such a good time she said the college should do this more than once a year.

Miles enjoyed the slide in the bounce house.

Meredith liked getting her face painted and a spray painted braid put in her hair.

The previous weekend we visited a dear "old" friend who lives in Nashville (and teaches with me).  Hardly took any pictures.  Just enjoyed my time with her and my kids.  We love her dog Daisy who comes to campus with her.  Every time Daisy comes into the building where my office is she climbs the stairs looking for me.

 I've been playing with Instagram, which you'll see in the next set of pics.  (You can find me on this iPhone app under the nickname "playcrane", of course)

a self-portrait

journaling and reviewing lessons learned from my art retreat I attended last month



stopped on the road by this train

my hubby blew up a bunch of balloons
just because

After I took this photo I realized I had the art photo print upside down.  So in this pic I turned it the correct way.  I ordered it from here.  It came all the way from England.

Most recently, in the evening, I went to a park with my favorite little guy.  We took turns choosing what we wanted to do.  My choice was walking the track around the park for exercise and picture taking.  His choice was to play on the playground.  Our final choice made us both happy: we walked the track and caught lightning bugs.

Can you see the lightning bug/firefly moving in this pic?

Here's hoping your summer is made up of many playful moments as well!